Sleep Thoughts and Historical Footprints
Write about the things that keep you awake at night.
I firmly believe that people have their deepest thoughts right before they fall to sleep. Unfortunately, we forget them by the morn and start the cycle all over again the next night. Society could have progressed a lot farther by now if we only remembered the things that we thought about at night.
However, I doubt few people think about the things that I do, or maybe I'm just flattering myself. I do think about some normal things: family, love, marriage, what I need to do the next day... Lately however, I've been thinking a lot about my historical footprint. Yes, laugh all you want, but I wish so dearly that others might have left more evidence of their existences and even a window to their souls. So many people are lost, not because they weren't incredible or brilliant, but simply because we have no record of them. Their diaries, lists, notes: time has eaten them.
Therefore, every time I try to clean my room, I cannot bring myself to throw notebooks and papers away, lest my imprint on their pages is gone forever. Just in case someone ever wants to study me, or more probable, if someone wants to find out what life was like for someone at this time, I want to preserve as much of myself as possible.
With an obsession for preservation, I cannot help if people will know me better than I know myself after I die. It's kind of a disturbing thought. I wonder if we know other dead people better than they knew themselves. Have we probed Karl Marx's pysche much further than he ever did? Will the objective analyzation of my life's documents really show the person that I am, or will they find parts of me I didn't know I had, or will my journal entries and unchecked lists protray me as someone completely different?
Thoughts of the soul keep me awake at night. The souls of others, my own soul, and the impossible attempts to portray those souls. It seems easier when they're dead, but I think that is only because they are not here to object to our incorrect illustration of them. Or perhaps mostly correct, but insulting portrayal. No one likes to see the dark parts of their own soul.
I firmly believe that people have their deepest thoughts right before they fall to sleep. Unfortunately, we forget them by the morn and start the cycle all over again the next night. Society could have progressed a lot farther by now if we only remembered the things that we thought about at night.
However, I doubt few people think about the things that I do, or maybe I'm just flattering myself. I do think about some normal things: family, love, marriage, what I need to do the next day... Lately however, I've been thinking a lot about my historical footprint. Yes, laugh all you want, but I wish so dearly that others might have left more evidence of their existences and even a window to their souls. So many people are lost, not because they weren't incredible or brilliant, but simply because we have no record of them. Their diaries, lists, notes: time has eaten them.
Therefore, every time I try to clean my room, I cannot bring myself to throw notebooks and papers away, lest my imprint on their pages is gone forever. Just in case someone ever wants to study me, or more probable, if someone wants to find out what life was like for someone at this time, I want to preserve as much of myself as possible.
With an obsession for preservation, I cannot help if people will know me better than I know myself after I die. It's kind of a disturbing thought. I wonder if we know other dead people better than they knew themselves. Have we probed Karl Marx's pysche much further than he ever did? Will the objective analyzation of my life's documents really show the person that I am, or will they find parts of me I didn't know I had, or will my journal entries and unchecked lists protray me as someone completely different?
Thoughts of the soul keep me awake at night. The souls of others, my own soul, and the impossible attempts to portray those souls. It seems easier when they're dead, but I think that is only because they are not here to object to our incorrect illustration of them. Or perhaps mostly correct, but insulting portrayal. No one likes to see the dark parts of their own soul.
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