Forever Adjusting

Well.
It's been a while.
Approximately 18 months.
Because of the whole give-all-your-time-up-to-teach-people-in-Germany-about-the-restored-gospel-of-Christ-for-eighteen-months.
Yeah that thing that was wonderful and arduous and sometimes terrible but mostly beautiful that changed my life forever.

And so here I am in America again, trying to apply the things I thought I learned but failing miserably because maybe I learned too much or maybe I still don't really accept this whole being-a-process thing or maybe I'm just a peon. But I'm working on it.

You may ask, what kinds of things are hard?

Actually you probably know what kinds of things are hard in life but I thought I'd list a few more RM specific just in case.


  • Losing motivation to talk to strangers. Which was one of my favorite and least favorite things on my mission but I got really good at it. I don't know if it's the lack of name tag or what, but it just got a lot harder to greet everyone at church or start conversations with people wherever I am (I usually make it to "how are you" and then can't figure out what to say in English unless they're a foreigner and then I get more in the zone). So I guess that also includes small talk #shootimissgerman
  • Staying in touch with mission people. Especially the old ones who I can only mail physical letters. Okay, that's kind of pathetic that after a month, I already feel inadequate, but...it happens. I have written a few so three points for me. Maybe I just fell in love with too many old German women. 
  • Missing other missionaries. Because there's something incredible and singular about being united with so many noble spirits. And every Monday, you get emails that remind you that you're not a part of that anymore. 
  • Technology. Still struggling with figuring out how to steer my Mac seeing as I've been a PC person my whole life. Plus who knew there were so many apps and what the heck do people even do with them all? And why can't I seem to let my phone out of my sight?
  • Finding balance. Welcome to the rest of my life, plus the previous two decades. Because isn't that what we are all striving for anyways? The perfect balance-an equilibrium of religion, education, relationships, work, health. Doing a lot without doing too much. Feeling happy and refreshed. Not that I ever got that as a missionary so this bullet point was more about my lifelong struggle. 
But guess what? Being home is also wonderful. 
Because I have the best family and get to hang out with my parents all the time and they still like me more than our dog (it was a close one when I first got back). And because I get to be in Colorado Springs which is my favorite place in the world. And because I have freedom to set my own schedule and prioritize my life ambitions. And because I get to see friends that are wonderful and great who I've missed dearly. And because I get to start new, exciting adventures. 

So life is going just fine. I'm still on the roller coaster of adjustment but it's okay because things are more fun that way? I'm looking forward to being back at BYU in a couple of weeks, rocking the world of academia and college kid shenanigans or at least pretending I am. 

So here's to rockin' the future. 
-insert a toast of juice or some other liquid along with the guzzling of said beverage-

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