The Lists that Govern my Life

I was feeling pretty good at 7 months pregnant. Which was the last time I posted on this blog. I had no idea how hard that final 1.5 months of pregnancy would be. About halfway through September, I finished an easy 5 mile run only to find myself crumpled on the ground afterwards, immobilized by intense pelvic pain. I cried and unable to stand, army crawled to our bedroom, where the pain subsided after about 45 minutes. This incident marked the beginning of the end of running while pregnant. I tried a few more short runs, but I could feel that same pain coming back and decided it was not in the cards to run all the way until my labor day. I had logically known I probably wouldn’t run my entire pregnancy, but emotionally it was a hard blow for me to stop with still weeks to go. Thus began the most difficult part of pregnancy for me. I know running is just one thing that I do , but stopping running after running pretty much every day for the past 15 years felt like losing a big part of wh

I am just over seven months pregnant and alternatively panic between worrying I don’t look pregnant enough or that I look too pregnant.  I kind of expected pregnancy to be awful--to feel tired and nauseous and uncomfortable for nine months. SURPRISE pregnancy has been generally kind to me. I mean, it’s definitely not my ideal state of being, but it hasn’t been the worst.  During my first trimester, I was in bed by 9pm (which is basically my dream life anyways), I had a week where I REALLY wanted hash browns/potatoes all the time, and I was able to keep running about 25 miles a week. The worst part was increasing sweating, which led to uncomfy heat rashes that haven’t really gone away but a dermatologist assured me they would after the baby comes. During the second trimester, I kept running the same amount despite rising humidity until that was rudely interrupted by a mild case of mono and I took a short break. Though I had a killer sore throat for a week, the mono turned out to not add

I’m continuing to document my journey through graduate school ( click here for year 3 , year 2 , or year 1 if you missed them ), and this past year was an unusual one! Yes, that’s right, I’ve made it through four years of graduate school and I’ve still got more to go. At the beginning of the pandemic, I admit I didn’t mind the initial switch to all online classes so much. It added more flexibility to scheduling, and let’s be honest here--sometimes I just really appreciated not having to put on real pants or leave my house. At the end of this year though, I am looking forward to slowly getting accustomed to leaving my house again and seeing people as more than little boxes on Zoom. For a year that often felt like a black hole, a lot happened.  I spent last summer taking an intensive Hungarian course, reading a million books for my PhD qualifying exams in the fall, and moving into our new house. I entered the fall feeling a bit drained. I took my qualifying exams (known as “quals”) at t

It's been 50 weeks since the the US began shutting down due to the coronavirus pandemic.  Dallin and I went out to eat on a Saturday and then two days later all restaurants in Bloomington closed for the foreseeable future. We cancelled a weekend trip to Chicago with the expectation that "things might be better in a couple weeks." We had just sent out most of our wedding invites for a May celebration and were still somewhat optimistic we'd be able to party with friends and family as planned. The only accurate foresight I had was the sinking feeling I wouldn't get to spend the summer in Austria with Dallin teaching on a study abroad.  COVID-19 has disrupted our lives and turned them upside down. Many of us have lost loved ones, or know those who have lost loved ones, or have dealt with other devastating health consequences. We have all had to deal with cancelled plans, lost experiences, and adjusted expectations.  On top of those, we've encountered days, weeks,