Forward Motion

Yes, I used this title already for a mission email.
It's called recycling. Or just reusing.

So in the 54 days I've been home from my mission, I've failed at keeping my blog. Sorry.
And I know. I’m being one of those annoying people that use their mission as a point of reference for any mention of time. I can’t help it. Everything has suddenly become “before my mission” or “after my mission.”
Or “during my mission.”
But I wrote approximately 75 emails about that 18 month adventure.

All of which were far more interesting than what you are currently reading. 

But things are about to kick off speed because....SCHOOL STARTS IN TWO DAYS! Thus starting "the semester right after my mission."
I think we all need some kind of reference point like a mission. 
And not that school is actually more exciting than a mission, but it is something. Something grand.

So what is there to be excited about for school?
-history classes
-German with mission friends
-my wonderful first-year mentoring job
-running and hiking around
-reuniting with people from two years ago again and again
-the grand, classy house I get live in
-meeting new people
-moving forward

And what am I naturally also anxious and nervous about?
-history classes
-remembering German
-my potentially stressful first-year mentoring job
-fixed social circles
-meeting new people
-getting stuck

Especially that last one. 
Because thanks to AP US history teacher in high school, I became a good, little, progressive citizen (#indoctrination) and embraced forward motion.
But all this forward motion stuff that comes after my point of reference (aka my mission) is a lot bigger than the stuff that came before. 

Forward motion like getting into research programs or internships or even heading towards grown-jobs or realizing you can't get a grown-up job with the major that you picked without being in school forever and maybe that's why you picked it because deep down you don't want a grown-up job and that's why you picked an enlightening though useless major. 
Hypothetically speaking of course. 

And then we have that whole awkward relationship and marriage business that I taught and thought so much about on my mission but suddenly it seems so much more distant and foreign than it did as a missionary. How the heck does that work? 
Probably because as a missionary, I created this hypothetical life where everything seemed possible and unicorns roamed freely under brilliant rainbows. 
And I came home to realize no unicorns care to take me to that magical land and everything is more complicated than it seems and sometimes you don't even know which way is forward.

Of course, that makes the victory of finding and achieving forward motion more gratifying. 
If you make it that is... :)
Which I will. 
Possibly crawling. 
But still going forward.
Relying on my Savior Jesus Christ.

So here is to going forward for the next 21,900 days after my mission and especially this semester. Because good, big things are coming.






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