And help me not to fall into the abyss...

Like many other religious groups and people, Mormons tend to pray a lot. And sometimes our language becomes really routine because we were taught a pattern when we were young that we were supposed to thank God for all our blessings first and then ask ask him for help with what we need. While I don't think this is a bad guide, sometimes it can make conversations with God a little stiff.

Anyways, that was background information. Because this week I was falling into that pattern so towards the ending of my prayer, when I'm supposed to be asking for blessings and assistance, I found myself often saying, "...and help me not to fall into the abyss."

Pause for quick definition time.

Abyss: (n)

  1.  a deep, immeasurable space, gulf, or cavity; vatchasm
  2. anything profound, unfathomable, or infinite
  3. a. the primal chaos before Creation b. the infernal regions; hell, c. a subterranean ocean

Okay, now that we're all the same page we can talk about how much I think about the abyss. Within my finite mind that is. 
Especially during weeks when its vastness threatens to engulf me. 
Because life is not so easy sometimes. And thus I pray for help not to fall into the abyss. 

That abyss that wants to suck the life and hope and dreams and motivation out of me. 
The abyss that looms 
when there are too many things to do 
and when things fall through 
and when you fail at all the things 
and when you cry in front of a professor because who the heck knew French would be so hard
and when you have so much white privilege person guilt
and when you feel like the most menial peasant ever.

Also I just found out there's a movie called The Abyss. Who knew. But that's beside the point.

Obviously I don't want to fall into that great chasm where the primal chaos dwells. And thus I pray to God that He will "help me not to fall into the abyss." Whatever I think my current abyss is, even if it's a great exaggeration of something very small that for some reason plagues me anyways. Because I believe God cares cares about those little things, for they matter to me and somehow I matter to Him.

He probably has a good laugh too because my perception of the abyss isn't even close to the size and depth that it will become in the coming years. And it's not even a drop in the abyss that humanity as a whole has encountered.
But for now, I'm still gonna stick with that wording. 
And not fall. 
#fighttheabyss





Comments

  1. Shireen October 21, 2015 at 7:14 AM

    I love this. Because sometimes that's all we can do. And throw roses into the abyss. Love. Love. Love.

    ReplyDelete

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