Guess I'll just have to wait and see....JK not my style

I am a very diligent journal keeper.
Journaling and running usually keep me from bouncing around like a crazy cat lady who actually owns no cats.




My past self always seems wiser than my present self--even though I'm pretty sure that I was an even dumber 23-year-old than I am a 25-year-old.
But that doesn't mean 23-year-old, 21-year-old, and even selfish 17-year-old me couldn't write some profound things.

This week's wisdom comes from April 2016 Claire.
This Claire had red and blonde hair and was still working on getting over a hard breakup and only had a semester left of school but was doing pretty well all things considered (read: about to burst into unprovoked tears of sentiment/nostalgia/healing/hurt at any moment but not as neurotic as Claire from March 2016 so we're on the up and up).

 


In the midst of this healing, this Claire wrote about some concerns/worries/anxieties about the future. Because the future was a dark, scary place where she didn't know if she would get into grad school or get a job or get married or have kids or if she'd made some recent good decisions regarding all of the things that make up life.

Amidst this uncertainty and pain though, she wrote:
"But tonight--tonight I'm hoping the best is yet to come."

I teared up for 2016 Claire. Because even though she was scared of everything, she had faith in the future. She believed that she hadn't let the best in life pass her by; she believed God would keep opening windows and doors for her and that she hadn't already hit her peak. That the best was yet to come. 

She wrote some more words and then commented, "I guess I'll just have to wait and see." 
Which made me laugh because WHEN IS WAITING AND SEEING EVER BEEN MY THING?
I almost wrote in "JK not my style haha" but then I thought I should preserve 2016 Claire's optimism.

I, 2017 Claire, am less scared of the future than I used to be. But I am also less trusting of it sometimes. Because it is hard to just "wait and see." I am all about that not-waiting-around-lifestyle because what what are you supposed to do while you are waiting except eat cake and no one can eat cake for years so how about a different plan?

So my plan is more like LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WAIT AND SEE SO LET'S JUST FLIP OUT AND PANICK-STRICKENLY TRY TO DO ALL THE THINGS!

Patience has never been my strong suit.

But I guess by default I do have to just wait and see what is going to come out of life. 
Because I can't see it all and there are still things I'm hoping life brings. 

As Ecclesiastes 9:11 says, "Time and chance happen to them all."

Which basically means we can't control everything. Regardless of our own plans, ideas, dreams, goals, and actions, time and chance can still throw those things off. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst.

But today--today I'm hoping the best is yet to come.




I don't know what, so guess I'll just have to wait and see. 

psych. kind of.

Because we all know I'm going to battle time and chance and probably lose, but I'm fire and dreams and I believe they're worth chasing as I sing in a not-so-musical-way the words of Robert Browning:


Grow old along with me! 

The best is yet to be, the last of life, 

for which the first was made. 

Our times are in his hand who saith, 

'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; 

Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!


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