I'm going back to my lists.
Hopefully that doesn't mean I'm regressing.
But they're safe.
I'll throw in a few paragraphs here and there if I'm feeling adventurous. With verbs and nouns and adjectives and adverbs.

So I kind of freaked out tonight when my parents ask me to make a phone call to HP about my laptop. And here would be why.
  1. I hate calling people I don't know on the phone, and sometimes people I do know. I don't like not being able to see their faces.
  2. I also feel like I'm interrupting peoples' lives, even toll free numbers where people get paid to answer phones. I don't know why, because if they didn't want to talk to me, they probably wouldn't answer the phone.
  3. I sometimes get asked questions that I don't know the answer to. Actually, many times. And not knowing answers makes me nervous. Which brings us to a psychological issue of not wanting to show weakness and frailty. And this will ultimately lead to my downfall. Possibly next week. Heck, with the way I'm going this summer, I'll be lucky if I make it until Saturday.
  4. And the last of the reasons listed here is that I don't want to grow up and having to make phone calls and ask questions and answer them means I'm entering the adult world. I don't want all that responsibility and so I tend to freak out when I realize that I have a foot in that adult world. I don't feel ready yet. But I probably never will.
I'll be happy when phones become outdated.
Then I'll have holograms to worry about.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Things I like about Indiana

So actually my brother Taylor started this list. But I liked it and decided to write it on my blog so that the whole world can have a taste of Hoosier Terre Haute and my family here. Some are about Indiana, but most are about the Woodward side of my family. My grandparents just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary so a bunch of my aunts and uncles and cousins and cousin-in-laws were here. The way my grandpa always tells too many details and it bugs the daylights out of my grandma. Today she told me that he skipped the days of school where they taught kids how to write short sentences. The way that my grandpa always walks hunched over. Kinda like my brothers. They'll be lucky if they turn out like him though:) The way my aunt April says "hey listen to this" when she wants people to hear a funny story. It's like a loud speaker announcing an anecdote. The way that you can escape the billions of people at family gatherings when you need some alone time. How y
Read more

A Little Death and A Lot of Grief

Image
  “A short list of what died that day: my daughter, me, my dreams, her future, all my gods, my laughter, the cabbage I covered my engorged breasts with, and this part of my stomach where I keep her sadness.” -Sarah Agaton Howes in “Lessons from Dying” I thought I knew what it was.  I didn’t know what miscarriage was.  Wasn’t it just a heavy period in the privacy of your home, maybe before you got too attached to the little one growing inside you? I knew the stats, memorized them when I got pregnant with Teddy. 20% chance of the pregnancy ending within the first 6 weeks.  10% between 6 and 12 weeks.  5% after the first trimester.  I learned new stats this time around.  1-3% of pregnancies end in the second trimester. 1-2% result in stillbirths (after 24 weeks). These stats are, of course, raw data, without accounting for race, socioeconomic status, or previous health conditions. Among Black and Indigenous individuals, these rates are much higher, as well as among those experiencing pove
Read more

And help me not to fall into the abyss...

Image
Like many other religious groups and people, Mormons tend to pray a lot. And sometimes our language becomes really routine because we were taught a pattern when we were young that we were supposed to thank God for all our blessings first and then ask ask him for help with what we need. While I don't think this is a bad guide, sometimes it can make conversations with God a little stiff. Anyways, that was background information. Because this week I was falling into that pattern so towards the ending of my prayer, when I'm supposed to be asking for blessings and assistance, I found myself often saying, "...and help me not to fall into the abyss." Pause for quick definition time. Abyss: (n)  a deep , immeasurable space , gulf, or cavity; vatchasm anything profound, unfathomable , or infinite a. the primal chaos before Creation b. the infernal regions; hell, c. a subterranean ocean Okay, now that we're all the same page we can talk about how much I t
Read more