Monasteries and Old Lady Compression Stockings
This
week, I decided to join a monastery.
But
then I realized I couldn’t because monasteries were only for men.
So
then I decided I should join a convent but then I thought it out some more and
decided I should keep studying because who knows if convents even exist in
America anymore?
Okay,
actually I just looked it up and there are some in Wisconsin, Missouri, and
Texas.
But as
it turns out, I’m not that interested in real life.
It’s
just that that can happen when you spend all your free time thinking about Erasmus,
Luther, and why anyone would pick eremitic monstasicism over cenobitic
monasticism in early Tsarist Russia.
Okay,
just kidding, I think about other things too.
But
these thoughts are usually the simplest and least emotionally exhausting (on
most days)
And I actually
didn’t really want to spend my time writing about the historical or personal
significance of monasteries or the perks of hiding in one.
I
wanted to write about my vein surgery!
Because
that’s what all the popular blogs are about these days.
#geneticproblems |
My
surgery resulted in the loss of three of my pinkies.
Just
kidding.
Because
I don’t have three pinkies. (pity laughs?)
But I
do have one less vein in my leg than I used to and the procedure of
removing/eliminating/destroying a vein is surprising less painful than I
thought it would be.
No
thanks to modern medicine, that is.
My
brother gave me a priesthood blessing the night before to calm my fears of
losing my leaky veins (not that I was super sentimental about them…)and so I marched (okay, actually
I think I just timidly tottered) into the Intermountain Vein Center the next
day full of confidence (okay, actually I was still a nervous) and they directed
me to a room where they began to prepare me for the surgery, which included
washing my leg with something that made it feel tingly and bringing out needles
and tubes and swords and other medical objects.
Oh
wait, minus the swords.
At
this point, I lost my brave appearance (oh wait, I never actually had that) and
quickly found PBS with the remote control they gave me and was relieved to find
out Arthur was about to come on.
Because
everything I needed to know I learned from Arthur and all the laws there are fixed.
I
watched Curious George until Arthur
came on while they used who knows how many needles to numb my whole leg so I wouldn’t
feel them lazering away a whole vein that ran from my ankle all the way up to
the top of my thigh.
Yes,
lazering is a verb.
And
then when they were done obliterating that defective vein, I just got right up
and moseyed on out of the office.
My mom
came out this week to make sure I would be okay and she drove me home, where I
slept for a bit and then woke up to my sweet basement-dwelling housemates
bringing me beautiful flowers. I have dear people in my life.
And
since then, I’ve been able to carry on with normal activities (minus running)
as long as I sport my attractive, old lady compression stocking.
Which
is how you make friends by the way.
Pity
friends, we call them.
Which
is the only kind I know how to make anymore but I’ll take what I can get.
Because
otherwise I’d end up in a PBS created monastery, finding comfort and meaning in
life from my beloved childhood programs.
But
even without pity friends, I’m grateful there is always something of bigger
meaning to me, that the Gospel of Jesus Christ gets me through all the hard
things and helps me enjoy the good things even more; it gets me through
surgeries, through the shame of having an old-lady disease in my twenty second
year, through the difficulty of sifting through emotional pain and loneliness
and insecurity.
And as
surprised as I am with the ease of my recovery from my surgery, I am even more
amazed at the strength of healing that comes through Christ.
I feel
like sometimes it’s not always immediate, but it’s powerful.
Doesn’t
get more powerful from this promise from my Father:
“[Claire],
I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears; behold, I will heal thee.” (2 Kings 20:5)
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