Urgency versus Impatience

I can’t ever decide if the first week of school is the hardest or the easiest of the semester.

I have this nasty habit of thinking that the thousands of pages of reading and writing found on each class’s syllabus must be completed in a seven day span..

But as soon as I get it all written down in color-coded fashion, I feel better about life.

It’s hard knowing that you have so much work before you that has not yet been completed but it’s nice that the men in your head aren’t bugging you about papers due next week (perhaps only about memorizing a Russian map).

Or maybe those are just the men in my head.

Because maybe you ostracized the men that perhaps once dwelled in your head.

But we don’t have to discuss that and the possible health concerns associated therewith.

No, I don’t mention those men on first dates.

Though I do on a public blog so….maybe not my best choice #datingproblemnumberthirtythree

Anyways.

During the momentous week of newness (or rather just old things feeling new again) and change, I have been thinking a lot about impatience and urgency. It came from something one of my coordinators at work said actually—that there was a difference between being impatient and being urgent and it was important to know the difference.

At first, I thought, oh good, I just recognize the urgency of life.

And then I remembered counting the seconds we would be late as companions finished getting ready or as one of my brothers grabbed breakfast before school.

And as it turns out, being five seconds late isn’t the worst thing that could happen. And actually, being two minutes instead of ten minutes early wasn’t so bad either.

If I want to be late, I have to intentionally plan to do so. Yeah, I have a problem, I know.

Then I also remembered my overactive consciousness of time and then I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what things in my life were really urgent or if I was just being impatient all the time.

Like those big, scary things that I think about a lot and wrote about last week and want to have happen in a decent period of time.

Like getting through school.

And grad school.

And dating people.

And having a relationship.

And getting a real job (moving up from the status of fake work)

And hopefully eventually getting married if I manage to appease all the men in my head and someone isn’t too concerned about their explosions of thoughts and feelings that I vicariously express (or perhaps it’s the other way around…)

And then there are those little things.

Like memorizing previously mentioned Russian map.

And writing a score of papers.

And reading a boat-load of books (shipped on land)

And spring cleaning in September.

And making friends.

Admittedly, I’m kind of procrastinating on that last one. But usually I am a very urgent person who just wants to have everything in order and everything planned.

Or maybe as it turns out, I am just a very impatient person.

Ouch.

Still dealing with that.

Thoughts on how to figure out what is urgent and what is worth waiting for?

I just need to be aware of what is urgent and needs to be resolved/taken care of/expressed and what can wait while I test patience.

For…”To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

I’m grateful to know that.

Now I just have to put it into practice.