Childult forever

Going home to be with my parents always makes me feel like a little kid again.
Okay, maybe not like a little kid, but at least like a teenager, even though it’s been years since I was in that decade. Three years to be precise.

Going back to school always makes me feel like an adult.
Okay, maybe not like a full-fledged, insurance paying and provider-for-a-family adult, but still a sufficiently independent person.

I think being in my early 20s just makes me feel in this awkward middle stage where I’m still somewhat dependent on my parents and perhaps I secretly want that, but I’m also creating my own new life separate from the first two decades of my life.
Full of plans that won’t work out but dreams that might.

So basically I consider myself a childult. Pronounced chill-dult. 
Because I still feel six years old on Christmas morning and when I go grocery shopping with my mom and beg her to buy my favorite treats. But I also feel very adult-like when I get my paycheck every two weeks and pay for rent and groceries and gas (which is I realize is only a small fraction of real-adult-expenses but is nevertheless something).

That’s a big part of the adjustment period to college. No longer being a kid but not being a full-functioning member of grown-up society yet and trying to figure out how to not kill your inner-child but also embrace new responsibilities and rise to new, real world challenges. Except in college, most of us don’t actually deal with real world problems so we don’t really get a lot of practice with that. We just worry about finishing our homework on time and boosting our GPA and what we’re going to have for dinner and if we’ll find someone to marry in the next decade.
#dealingwiththehypotheticals



It’s the hard ‘nuff life for us poor childults.
It’s kind of like going through puberty all over again. But there are less chemicals and hormones to blame.

I wrote this poem on my mission as I first began to realize this phenomenon.

Perhaps I’ll call it “Childult.”

Stuck between old and young
Not a child, but not paying bills
Making decisions alone
Decisions encouraged or criticized by others
Juvenile and sophomoric
Or stern and stressed
The spring of youth
Or the wisdom of years
Where does the compromise lie?



So this year, I’ll keep creeping closer to adulthood while finding moments to still be a child. #childultforever

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