Of Inner Turmoil and Poetry

This week we had fewer mouse catching adventures (our single quest involved almost catching Geraldine in a cup after cornering her in our room, but the sneaky rascal leapt out and we haven’t seen her since then). Maybe it’s because I was less focused protecting myself from mice this week, but I think our apartment's anxiety levels are increasing with the nearing end of the semester and complications of life (validated also by my stressed freshmen, so I know it’s not just us). Because nothing says vulnerability like consuming a whole package of oreos in day. Not that I did that or anything. I speak purely hypothetically, right?

Other sure hypothetical signs of inner turmoil?
(as if there is anything sure about the hypothetical world)

       -half eaten pans of brownies
       -rearranged furniture
       -empty boxes of oreos
       -clean kitchens (note: contrary to popular belief, this is not a sign of I-have-it-all-together-ness)
       -late night conversations
       -experimental cooking

Not sure how those all relate. In such a state, I usually turn to words to find comfort. This week was a poem week. So I thought I would spend the rest of my allotted words for this blog post on a couple of poems about my favorite themes. Can you guess what they’re about? ☺


Vulnerability
 It feels like exposed
Naked, uncovered
With a hint of dignity
It tastes like fear
Lack of oxygen and dry mouth
With a hint of courage
It looks like weakness
Embarrassment and uncertainty
With a hint of strength
It sounds like terror
Silent screams and second guesses
With a hint of confidence
It hurts like breaking, like falling, like sliding
Queasiness and discomfort
It leads to flying
Though flying nude, I’m off the ground
It means bravery
Stepping into darkness to find light
Following the hints
To embrace victory
Over fear
And over the unknown


Far From Clouds
The weight of grown-up things
Of responsibility, of consequences, of tasks to do
Lays upon my mind
All too aware
Of what is expected of me
No chance to say, “I didn’t know.”
I knew it all,
Just couldn’t do
There was too much for me alone. 
Too much sense
So time conscious
Seven minutes to complete the job. 
Efficiency of mind
Can rob the joy
The frivolity of child-like dreams.
Too far from the clouds
My head stays on earth
For better or worse,
The weight stays here.

So I’m just going to keep flying around in my vulnerability suit with the weight of reality hanging from my shoulders. 
Fortunately I have a gracious God to help me stay afloat and even soar. Go team, go. 

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